THE SHEET IS MADE OUT OF WOOD TOO
Wendell Castle, Ghost Clock. 1985
THAT IS MAHOGANY
I thought this was a joke until I read the description
The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over the Lazy Dog.
I feel like I’ve been preparing for this image all my life.
The internet is over, everyone can go home
It’s just as beautiful as I always imagined.
My life is complete.
Life is over as we know it
'if lesbians use dildos why don't they just have sex with a man?'
'if straight men like fucking women in the ass why don't they just fuck men?'
Finally, a brilliant response to a dumb question.
restart your computer to install important upd-
writing adult emails is awful
hi [name of person],
this formatting is making me uncomfortable but I have to tell you something / ask you something that is vital to my career as a student.
I re-read and edited that sentence for an hour, but you’ll probably just glance over it for half a second.
Once in science class the teacher was talking about reproduction and how almost everything we do on routine is to attract a mate and this one boy was all “I don’t want a wife or a girlfriend” so everyone was all “omg r u gay” and he said “no i kinda dont really want anyone” and there was silence until he said “well actually i kinda want lizard” and long story short that kid came out as asexual in front of 30 8th graders
Can we talk about what’s happening in Scotland yet?
Repost this anywhere
don’t let tumblr make you believe that
-smoking is cool
-being a narcissistic bitch is acceptable
-trusting nobody is healthy
-starving yourself will make you beautiful
-hating everybody is okay
- that working hard for grades isn’t worth the time
- that having mental health condition is a perk
- that self harm should be romanticized
- that abusive and codependent relationships are cute
- that not being in a minority makes you any less of a person
Johnny Depp (via enemaroberts)
Realest shit I’ve heard all morning. (via corivicious)
“In 2002, having spent more than three years in one residence for the first time in my life, I got called for jury duty. I show up on time, ready to serve. When we get to the voir dire, the lawyer says to me, “I see you’re an astrophysicist. What’s that?” I answer, “Astrophysics is the laws of physics, applied to the universe—the Big Bang, black holes, that sort of thing.” Then he asks, “What do you teach at Princeton?” and I say, “I teach a class on the evaluation of evidence and the relative unreliability of eyewitness testimony.” Five minutes later, I’m on the street.
A few years later, jury duty again. The judge states that the defendant is charged with possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine. It was found on his body, he was arrested, and he is now on trial. This time, after the Q&A is over, the judge asks us whether there are any questions we’d like to ask the court, and I say, “Yes, Your Honor. Why did you say he was in possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine? That equals 1.7 grams. The ‘thousand’ cancels with the ‘milli-’ and you get 1.7 grams, which is less than the weight of a dime.” Again I’m out on the street.”
powerful Black Science Man
Too sick a burn not to reblog
This is the most accurate gif of Florida I have ever seen.
”What the fuck?”
She’s not even scared, she’s just mad and confused.
baby gators are basically confused sharp bunnies who wander into other people’s pools for a dip and some sunbathing and might gnaw on u. mommas are the scary ones.
confused sharp bunnies
i’d argue that you don’t even have to worry about mommas. alligators are literally stoners. like don’t fuck with their stuff and they’ll just chill and leave you alone.
i grew up in florida. i was riding my bike once and managed to fall over and into a swamp full of gators and they just stared at me like ‘what the fuck did you do that for?’ they are some of the calmest creatures ever.
Alligators have not evolved in two hundred million years. They’re too lazy.
You can distinctly make out that she’s saying “What the fuck? Whose alligator is this?”
I’d like to take a moment to bring to people’s attention what is happening in Scotland right now, more specifically Glasgow. I’m not sure many of you even realise that yesterday we had the chance to vote to be an independent country, and overall, the run up to voting day was fantastic! There was such passion and positivity from both Yes and No camps, but that is now a thing of the past as since the votes have been counted and a NO vote has won 55% to 45% YES. George square has been the hub for many YES gatherings over the past few weeks, and I live in Glasgow and I’ve walked through them, and it’s been a really great atmosphere, but these pictures show what replaces that today. Within 48 hours it has gone from a scene of positivity, to complete anarchy, and the BBC has covered virtually none of it! I ask that you please be aware of the discord going on in Glasgow and Scotland right now, and if you’re in Glasgow please stay at home and be safe, this is not how it should have ended.
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